22 June 2011

Malayalee Hindu Bride

 Marrychoice
                   The bridal attire of a Malayalee Hindu bride is very simple and elegant. The traditional bridal dress consists of a two piece cream colour saree called Set Mundu with a thick woven gold zari border. But very few brides choose to dress in the traditional Set Mundu today. Instead they opt for expensive Kancheepuram silk saris, which are available in plenty of bright colours like red, maroon, magenta, green and blue.
                         Though the bridal saree is quite simple, the jewelry complementing it is very unique and heavy and forms a very important part of the bridal attire. The jewelry designs are inspired by nature or temple statues mainly consisting of motifs like paisley, rice grains, melon seeds, cobra heads or birds and usually crafted in red and green semi precious stones. The jewelry from this region is commonly known as Temple jewelry.
                         A Malayalee bride is heavily decked with bridal jewelry from head to toe. The piece of jewelry worn along the parting of the hair is known as Netti Chutti. It is very similar to Mang Tikka which is worn by brides from northern parts of India but the design and style of a Netti Chutti is very different from a Mang Tikka. Typical hanging earrings in the shape of an umbrella known as Jhimkis are worn and suspended by an artistic chain called Maattal which goes around the ear. The hair is adorned by a stone studded ornamental chain which is worn over the plait is known as Tirukkuppu. The bride also adorns various gold necklaces with designs inspired by temple borders and comprise of a gold disc in the centre with different designs and motifs of goddesses. These necklaces are traditionally called – Nagapada thali, Laxmi thali, Palakka mala and Kasu mala. The bride also wears a combination of gold and stone studded bangles along with other pieces of jewellery like gold anklets known as Padaswarams, a waist band embellished with pearls and stones, a stone studded nose ring and a gold armlet.
                     Though Malayalee bridal jewelry is known for its bold and heavy designs, brides these days are opting for more contemporary designs and are switching from the yellow gold to diamond and platinum jewelry.          

21 June 2011

Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage

Marrychoice               
                              In love marriage, when a boy fall in love with a girl who matches his likes or a girl likes a boy and they becomes friend. The friendship may grow more closer and at one stage if they feel comfortable with each other, they may decide to become life partners. In most of the cases, all these happens without the knowledge of their parents. When the stage comes to get married or if a the girl or the boy is forced to get married to another person, these things come out. Some parents may take it positively and may agree to go ahead with the proposal have will end up with a ceremonial wedding. But in most of the cases, they lose the support from their parents and with the help of their friends, they are forced to go for a registered wedding and end up separating from their family.

Advantages of arranged marriage.
                  Its not always that arranged marriages are successful or love marriage are successful. We see that most of the arranged marriage are successful for some reasons. When its an arrange marriage, the parents do support the relationship and they try their best to keep the relationship live as it is their responsibility too. Arranged marriages are good, if you believe in astrology and horoscope. I have seen that some really grow good, life changes after getting married and some vise versa. In arranged marriage, the boy and girl will be from the same religion and caste, so they have the life style, food and culture. In arranged marriages, the girl is more protected as the parents care for  a girl who married according to their wish.

love marriages arranged marriages 

Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages
 
                   All of a sudden you start your life with a person with you have hardly spend any time. You don’t know the person or you may even not like the person if you have go married because your parents and elders decided your marriage. Most of the cases the girl is forced to sacrifice their likes and adjust to the reality. Some may just live their life it goes believing its their fate and their parents are happy, but some break up. Some start their love life after the wedding and really enjoy and are happy.

Advantages, Advantages of Love Marriage
                         Love marriage is a legal right for two individuals who care and love for each other to live together and go ahead with their life. In love marriage, you know each other well, you are not going to be with any stranger or you may not have much problems if you know about the person well before you decide to spend your life together. A love marriage can become un-successful, if you had a very short time time know each other and just decided to get married. If you are knowing each other well and you are sure that you can get along with each other without any problems then you can decide to get married. In short the advantage of going for a love marriage is that you are going to live your life with a person who you know well and you are sure that you can get along well.
                       Its not easy to go for a love marriage. You need to first fall in love with someone and that person should like you as well. It takes time to know each other and both of you should feel comfortable with each other. Decide to get married to a person who loves you more than you love that person. In many cases I have seen that one person is badly in love with the other person, but not vise versa. Never force somebody to love you and get married, you should give sufficient time to the other person whom you love to know you more and you should take sufficient time to learn your partner well before you both come to a decision to live together.
                    In my opinion, nobody can be sure that he or she will fall in love with a person and even if he or she falls in love with somebody, that person will fall in love in return. If you don’t fall in love or not get a right person, then you can think of arranged marriages. Even in arranged marriages you can know the person well before you decide to get married. You should make sure that your proposed partner likes you as well and is not agreeing for the wedding because of any pressure from her / his parents or any other reasons.

20 June 2011

Validating Your Partner’s Feelings

Marrychoice

Validating your partner’s feelings can be very helpful to the relationship. Learning how to acknowledge the other person’s feelings can diffuse a lot of arguments and help the other person feel heard. It can show that you have empathy for his/her feelings even when you disagree on something.
                               Simply stating that you recognize your partner’s anger or frustration can help him to feel validated. For example, stating “I know you are angry I did not call when I was going to be late because you were waiting for me” can help your partner to know you do care. Don’t try to go into lengthy explanations of how you always try to be home on time every other night or how you feel justified in being late one night a week. Instead, provide a short and simple explanation and then validate your partner’s feelings about the situation.
                  Continuing to argue about your differences is not likely to be productive if you and your partner adamantly disagree on something. Instead, talking about how you each feel about the disagreement can help you each to feel heard. Try to acknowledge your partner’s feelings instead of trying to continuously explain yourself. This will require you to pay attention to your spouse’s tone of voice and body language in addition to what she is actually saying.
               Empathizing with someone else requires the ability to recognize someone else’s emotions and state of mind. It can take practice if you aren’t familiar with trying to do so.  Try accepting your own feelings as well as your partner’s. Feelings are not right or wrong. It is okay to feel angry, frustrated, or upset just like it is okay to feel happy and sad.  What matters is how we behave based on our feelings. Someone’s behaviors may be appropriate or inappropriate based on how the person feels.