Marrychoice.com
The wedding was awesome. All the love and heavenly feelings made it all seem so surreal. It was well planned and the few parts that didn't quite come together as planned went unnoticed. Everyone had a ball and just about everyone said it was the best wedding they ever attended. It was a great start to what was supposed to be the greatest marriage that ever happened. Our new family was supposed to feel love and protection and every day was going to be better than the next. Our kids were going to be perfect (not like everyone else's) and were going to be raised in the perfect environment of love and support. Nothing was supposed to go wrong.
If you have spoken to anyone about the let down some couples experience after the first few years of marriage, they probably said something like, "oh, that's just what happens, welcome to reality." But marriage isn't supposed to transition down. In fact, a healthy marriage is supposed to transition into something much better than the first phase. You, like 99% of us, just never learned the basic skills or knowledge required to be married. You wouldn't be asked to fly a jet liner without training, but since our society doesn't address marriage scientifically, you just don't know what to do. It isn't too late!
The three loves: Eros, Familial and Agape
There are three loves you experience as your marriage progresses. The first, eros, can be simply described as selfish love. It's the love tied to the physical and is all about you. It is where you feel enamored and even dependent on your partner. It is all about sensuality, sexuality and tit for tat love. Although the sensual aspects of eros can last, the selfishness starts to fall away as you get used to each other and realize all the time in the rack can be very draining and unfulfilling. You begin to get into each other as people and appreciate each others company more; the normal relationship evolves into familial love.
Obviously there are grey areas and transitions in marriages. The main point is, in familial love you do not depend on each other for constant reinforcement. Some couples never get past the eros stage and become emotional wrecks because they feel unfulfilled. Their selfishness limits the relationship. Nobody ever told them that relationships mature in a certain manner so they get scared. But familial love is less expecting. It's the kind of love you feel because it is safe. It is the same kind of love you have for any blood relative. It is a love of acceptance. It is the first step towards the love that we all seek, agape.
Agape is the love that we all want, but hardly anyone realizes it is meant for us to give agape love and not expect it in return. Agape is unconditional love. It is the magic everyone seeks and why marriage is so promising. Agape is the unspoken of desire. Those who learn to give love unconditionally are forever in a state of joy since they also receive the agape love in return.
You can have the marriage you dreamed of
Marriage needs to be understood and developed scientifically in order to have true success.
