The four communication styles are:
Controlling style. A married couple who use this style usually
doesn’t want to hear other’s talk and tends to eliminate different opinion. Example: if a wife begins to talk, a husband doesn’t want to listen and will cut the talk with more long explanation or it turns out to be an arguing with yelling each other.
In this situation, actually the wife needs advice or solution not just a do and don’t instructions. An expert says that they who apply this style
don’t want to appreciate their couple’s idea and
feeling and tend to force their own desires. For them, it’s more important to be a ‘never wrong’ person than maintaining a good relationship.
Conventional style. There is no open discussion or conversation on important matters between a husband and a wife. He or she tend to avoid a discussion by
distracting attention to other unrelated matter.
Example : if a wife want to discuss about child’s problem, a husband will avoid this by changing the topic to another simple topic such as weather or daily activities. An expert says that this married couple actually apply an artificial communication which
there is lack of respect to couple’s feeling.
Speculative style. They generally have open mind to receive and appreciate their couple’s ideas and opinion, but this style users usually finish off their times to
ask many undirected questions more than to just express their true feelings.
For example: a husband wants to ask her wife to accompany him on a business trip. Instead of inviting her directly, a husband asks many questions and
guesses her wife’s feeling and want. The conversation turns out to be an asking each other and it usually ends with no fair solution.
In this situation, the married couple not only doesn’t express his or her true feeling but also ‘running’ around the talked topic. It will cause a misunderstanding between them.
Full contact style. This style applied by a
married couple who wants to
listen and appreciate her or his couple’s opinion. They don’t hesitant to discuss every important problem and to express their own desires. This husband and wife always try to
maintain their good relationship by building an open and respectful communication.
From all those communication styles, the full contact style is the
most appropriate style that should be applied by each married couple to keep their marriage life in
intimate and harmonic relationship.
