The Kerala Wedding!!!

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When the self declared writer inside me stops working I figured it is time to go to the basics. You know sitting late at night after no one is around and there is not much to do either. I don’t know exactly what but there is something at night which works for me. Anyways I will not get into the same details again, if you want to get to that story then check it out at ‘The odd hour affair’.

It’s been sometime to my Kerala Trip and of all the things I have talked about; still there is no mention of the wedding, the reason why I went to Kerala. As I said earlier had it not been to Swaroop’s sister’s marriage, this trip was not taking place. Everyone told me that south Indian weddings in comparison to the northern counterparts are pretty boring and if I’ll have to attend them on a regular basis I couldn’t agree more.

I remember when Arnold came to India to attend my cousin’s wedding; he stayed in the wedding house and was an integral part of every function. But for me attending the wedding there was different and with other guests from Delhi I was at the hotel and spent the first two days exploring Kochi. Anyways the night before the wedding we were invited to dinner at the house and it was then I got a pretty clear picture of how South Indian weddings are different from the northern ones.

The dinner was a quite affair with just family and may be few close friends. The menu was very simple too; rice, chicken curry and curd. As mentioned in ‘Thought for Food’ the food was with a unique flavor of its own and eating it was a pleasure.

Next day was wedding and we were told to reach the venue on time and not be late, so we reached there by 9:30 as told; not at night, 9:30 in the morning. As everything else wedding again was a simple affair. In the wedding hall all the guests were sitting on chairs and witnessing the wedding ceremony. The bride and the groom were dressed like the ones in North India. The bride with lot of jewellery, especially gold [the way women there were wearing gold, I think Kerala must be the biggest market for it] and the groom in bright Sherwani. After the groom arrived [there was no baraat (wedding procession) or the music band along] with the family in a quite manner, few rituals were performed.

The bride arrived in the wedding hall, and she came with a wedding procession of girls and classical musical instruments. Then again few rituals with bride and then on stage there were few more rituals with both bride and groom and before 11 the complete wedding was over and the photo shoot began.

Unlike north India, the wedding there was not dictated by the photographers [you know how they keep on holding the ceremony to get that perfect short] but the photographers there were far more than what we have here. Also unlike here, there was no need of a priest and any elder of the family can perform the wedding. There was registrar present to complete the legalities of marriage there and then only.

Anyways once the ceremony was over and after getting there pics clicked people moved to the lunch hall where we got the flavor of authentic Keralite food. Although everyone in south India is open to non-veg food, and it is probably more popular then the vegetarian delicacies, but since it was a traditional Hindu wedding, so the food was pure vegetarian.

All in all, it was a fun filled trip. From exploring the city, to getting a flavor of the local food and knowing a different culture, everything was there in this 3 days trip.

DECODING A HINDU MARRIAGE

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In the modern world, marriage is about choice and contract. The boy and girl choose each other and willingly enter a contract. Breaking of the contract constitutes divorce. The traditional Hindu wedding is neither about choice nor about contracts. It was an arrangement made between families and a mandatory duty for the boy and the girl, marking the end of their childhood. The idea of divorce was not even considered.

More and more young people want to know the significance of traditional Hindu weddings. Often they are do not like what they find because the traditional marriage rituals were designed in times when social structures were very different. These weddings were designed for joint families. It was a patriarchal society where women were seen as dependents. A man could marry and remarry but these privileges were denied to woman. But a man was also not completely free; he was bound by the rules of his family and his caste. The wedding rituals continue to be highly symbolic and are full of agricultural metaphors as India is primarily an agricultural country. For example, man is considered the farmer and the woman is considered the field. The child born from this union is called the crop. Such ideas can be disturbing especially for women in modern times.

Another problem we face today when studying Hindu marriages is the absence of standardization. There are many variations depending on location and caste. A Rajput wedding is very different from a Tamil wedding. A Malayali Hindu wedding has today been reduced to the simple act of a man tying a thread around a woman’s neck before witnesses from the bride’s and groom’s family. The ceremony ends in less than a minute, while a royal Marwari wedding can extend over several days. Add to this the modern Bollywoodization of everything Indian, and we have hybrid post-modern weddings taking place where champagne is drunk when the havan is being conducted and to mind it is seen as being uncool!

Traditionally, weddings are held after Chatur-maas, or the four months of the rainy season. It is heralded by the ritual known as Tulsi-vivah, when Vishnu represented by sugarcane gets married to the Tulsi plant that represents Lakshmi. This event takes place in the month following Diwali.

Marriage rituals begin with the engagement. Traditionally, most weddings were arranged by parents and the bride and groom did not see each other until the wedding ceremony. The Engagement usually involved exchange of gifts before a deity in a temple. Today, following western practices, rings are exchanged in the presence of friends.

Between the engagement and the wedding, the groom and the bride are invited by friends and family to meals to celebrate the last days of being single. This culminates in the ritual known as Sangeet, primarily a North Indian ritual, which has now become pan-Indian, thanks to Bollywood. This involves singing and dancing by the women of the family. It is usually held in the girl’s house and does not involve the groom, though his mother and sisters and sisters-in-law are invited nowadays.

The Wedding ceremony begins with Haldi-snana and Mehendi. This involves preparing the groom and bride for the wedding and is held in their respective homes. Both are anointed with turmeric paste and bathed with fragrant water by the women of the household. The idea of this ritual is to make the boy and girl attractive for the wedding night. This was an acknowledgment of the physical desires of the couple. Mehendi or use of henna came to India from Arabia. Hindus preferred the use of Alta, or a red dye, to line the hands and feet. Today elaborate patterns are made using henna on the hands and feet. Beside the bride, other female members of the family also use the occasion to decorate themselves so.

After the bride and groom are prepared, both are asked to invoke their respective ancestors. This ceremony is especially important for the bride, as after marriage, she serves the interests of the groom’s ancestors and breaks all ties with her own.

Most Hindu rituals follow the principle of hospitality. The guest is formally invited, then worshipped and given gifts and then bid farewell. During pujas, for example, the god and goddess are invited (Avahana) into the household, worshipped before being allowed to go (Visarjan) with an invitation to come again. In the marriage, the groom is the guest and since guests are equated with gods, he is treated as a god, and given a very special gift – the bride.

The time of the wedding varies dramatically in different parts of India. In the South, weddings typically take place at dawn while in the East weddings typically take place post dusk. The actual wedding begins with an invitation usually sent as a scroll to the groom usually presented by the bride’s brother. In Orissa, the bride’s brother is called the Vara-dhara, he who brings home the groom.

The invited guest, or groom, comes in a procession. Rajput grooms carry a sword, sometimes selected by the bride. This shows two things: that the man is capable of carrying the sword and capable of protecting the bride. The grooms in North India came on a mare, and are covered with garlands so that no one sees their face and casts the evil eye. The use of a mare and not a horse suggests his intention to domesticate the wife, an idea that annoys most girls in modern times. The men accompanying the groom in many parts of India use the occasion to drink and dance. This is the boisterous Baraat. It is supposed to represent the baraat of Shiva when he came down from the mountains to marry Parvati. The drinking and dancing is a celebration of the last days of the single youth who after the ceremony will be tied down to a wife and a family and will never be allowed to behave irresponsibly even if he wants to.

When the groom arrives, he is greeted by the bride’s father and mother with garlands. He is given special sweet drinks. His feet are washed. He is made to feel welcome and the bride’s father brings him in holding his hand. The priests meanwhile prepare the fire-altar. Fire is the representative of the gods during the ceremony. He witnesses the union of man and woman.

The Wedding Gifts For People Who Have Everything

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 Marriages are made in heaven. Wedding gifts need to be personal and nice. Wedding gifts should also personify your good wishes and care. Marriage is a once in a lifetime solemn affair. Marriage should be something that a person looked forward to for all his/her life. It’s a divine and sweet harmony between two people. These gifts should signify your joy and happiness about the couples union. There are many kinds of gifts such as jewelry, flowers, and others that can be analyzed.
A marriage in the family means that new people have come into close knit circle of people who are very important to the family. After the day of the marriage, the lives of the couple will change totally. Therefore, a gift shouldn’t be simply the passing of a box but should be something that is suitable. Wedding gifts need to be something that both people will appreciate. They should be will help the couple in their journey in life and be something that is usable.
Marriage gifts from the family can be something that tells the story of how the family evolved and has been passed on for generations. These gifts should be different and unique. You shouldn’t give a gift that doesn’t signify your joy or that is expected or predictable. This just isn’t a very good idea. It’s better not to give a gift of all rather than give a wedding gift that isn’t relevant.
A nice marriage gift should be something that makes the couple feel special such as chocolates, a bottle of wine, or a photo. One of the purposes of the gift is to remind the couple of their wedding day every time they see the gift. It is also important that they understand that their wedding day was also a happy day for you as well. Your gift needs to remind them that you were there on their wedding day and remind them of you. The gift should make both people feel important, cared, and honored.
You can get many different ideas for wedding gifts on websites that are on the Internet. There is a huge market for these gifts on the Internet. There are numerous websites online where you can order or purchase all types of marriage gifts. The internet is where you can find various types of different and unique marriage gifts. There is no such thing as a bad gift but it’s much better if you give the best wedding gift that you can. Then you can wish the happy couple a happy married life with a beautiful wedding gift

Wedding Customs in Kerala

Traditionally, a horoscope was considered a must in Hindu marriages. But, today the scenario is different and not everyone opts for horoscope matching. Yet, some parents and couples too, insist on horoscope matching. This is often done before the boy match is finalised.

The next step is called "Pennu Kannal," the ceremony that marks the meeting of the prospective bride and groom. Close relatives of both parties gather to meet the prospective bride/groom and get to know their families. The consent of the boy and the girl is taken during this time and at times, they ask for time to say a yes or no to the alliance. Once a positive decision is made, the elders in the family proceed with the wedding. Earlier, this occasion was strictly done only in the girl's house. With changing attitudes and values, it is now common for the boy and the girl with their respective families to meet in a restaurant.

Once the boy and the girl give their nod to go ahead, elders decide on a date to conduct 'Nischayam' or the engagement ceremony. Earlier Nischayam was a family affair, often in bride's house, when 'Muhurtham,' the time and date of the marriage is fixed with the astrologer's help. Rings are exchanged between the boy and the girl. Nowadays, it is common to see people spending lavishly and announcing the 'Muhurtham', in the presence of hundreds of friends and relatives. Also, since the earlier days, there are people who do not conduct the engagement ceremony. Such people jump from Pennu Kannal to marriage directly.

Traditionally, marriages are conducted in the temple or Kalyana Mandapam (the wedding hall). The modern marriages are also often conducted at hotels and resorts. Both the bride and the groom and their respective families arrive at the wedding venue separately. The bride wears silk sari and the groom, wears dhothi. The nuptial ceremony takes place around the fire, where the bride and the groom sits with the priest, who keeps chanting vedic mantras. The 'nadaswaram' goes on in the background. The groom ties the "Thaali' (mangalsutra) around the bride's neck. Then, the bride and the groom take three rounds around the fire. Typical Kerala sadhya (feast) is served.

After that, at the auspicious time, the bride, the groom and his family leave for the groom's house for 'grihapravesham,' that marks the bride's entry to her new household.

Though this is what typically, a wedding in Kerala is like; it could vary depending upon communities and also religion. Most often a reception follows the wedding ceremony.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4649095

Wedding Rituals in Kerala

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Folks meet and forget, but few folks are destined to remain together in life forever. Only couple of relations apart from blood relations, stays with a human getting for his life time. 1 of the bonds, which tie the knot of lifelong togetherness among a man as well as a woman, is marriage. Weddings in India are celebrated with excellent auspiciousness and demands powerful conviction of each bride and groom inside the relation. As a result of India getting a multi- cultural land, the techniques in which marriages in distinct religions are performed also varies. The beliefs as well as the customs of folks differ according to the community and religion they belong to. Wedding rituals typically differ according to the spot the bride and groom live in as well as the religion they follow. One of the regions in India, exactly where marriages are performed with excellent sanctity and holiness is Kerala.

Most of the Kerala matrimonies are performed based on the Hindu religion. They’ve a conventional way in which the marriages take location. Individuals living in Kerala usually belong towards the Nair community. They prefer marrying their kids using the bride or groom from their own community. This assists the couple to effortlessly adjust with one another and lead their married life happily. Kerala Matrimony takes location in large halls, with their relatives and buddies gathered at 1 location, prior to the wedding the bride and groom go to temples with their respective families to take blessings from the God.

Kerala matrimonies depict a genuinely standard ambience, with the following customs:

Nirapara and Nilavilakku These are items kept in the place, exactly where the Kerala matrimony is taking place. It truly is to add sanctity to the atmosphere and obtain blessings from several Gods. Nirapara is referred to a filled measure. A wooden box is utilised conventionally to measure paddy, which is named para. This measure is normally mixed up with coconut flowers and paddy, which is inserted into the heap.

Nilavilakku is referred to as an enormous brass lamp placed on a stand getting a cup at its leading. This cup is generally filled till the leading with oil and wicks are kept in on with its 1 edge coming out from the cup. The finish using the projection is lighted and it continues to burn till a lengthy time, by drawing oil from the cup. The cup is lightened to let the God of fire, witness the sacred occasion and add auspiciousness towards the moment.

Tying of the Thali Thali tying is an crucial ceremony inside the Kerala matrimony. This marks the historical moment inside the life of the Kerala bride and groom. In this ceremony, the groom ties a yellow thread having a banyan leaf shaped pendant on the neck of the bride. Earlier this thread employed to be tied towards the Keralite girl, when she reached her puberty, but now-a-days, it really is tied in the time of Kerala matrimony.

Pudava Koda It really is the ceremony, which is also referred as the genuine marriage ceremony in Kerala matrimony. In this the groom reached the residence of the bride accompanied by couple of of his family members members and close relatives. In their presence, he gives a Pudava to his bride. This really is the sacred moment, which binds the bride and groom towards the lifetime bond of marriage. Pudava can be a cloth, which is traditionally worn by the females of Kerala.

These steps constitutes the wedding ceremony, completing soon after which the bride and groom commences their married life. Kerala matrimony has diverse however lovely rituals, which binds the man and woman to 1 thread of life, thereby showering happiness and joy in their life ahead.